


Why me!?!?

by Val_Teal



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Humor, One Shot, Poor Dick Grayson, Seriously Batman, Why?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29181177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Teal/pseuds/Val_Teal
Summary: Dick sees something he really wishes he hadn’t. Why him!?!?
Relationships: Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne (mentioned)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	Why me!?!?

The zeta tube came to life in the middle of training, causing the young super heroes to start, and for Wally to yank Artemis’s legs out from underneath her. She hit the ground, the floor lighting up and telling her she failed, just as the same voice announced Robin’s arrival. Which was strange because he was supposed to be on a case with Batman right now.

As soon as the Boy Wonder’s particles had reformed he let out a desperate wail and fell to his knees dramatically while screaming, “Why!?!? Why me? My poor innocent eyes! I am a child, I should not be subjected to this cruel torment!” He stopped and looked up at his extremely confused teammates, but his eyes caught on M’gaan and he lit up, flipping upright he stared at her, completely serious, and asked, “M’gaan? Can you wipe my memory of the last five or so minutes?” The team, confused and concerned, looked at him incredulously.

“Sorry, Robin, but if I could don’t you think I would have used it by now?” M’gaan asked tenderly. Robin, upon hearing this terrible news, let himself collapse and fall to the floor with a groan, covering his face with his hands.

“What’s up man? I thought you were working a case in Gotham?” Wally asked.

“Yup. And guess who is suddenly on our side for it?” He gave absolutely no pause for anyone to answer, but the red headed speedster in the room thought he might have a clue. “Catwoman! Freaking Catwoman is on our side and I have been run out of my own home!” Wally gave him a sympathetic look.

“Dude, what is this? The fourth time this has happened?” 

“Fifth,” the traumatized child on the floor whined. Actually whined. Wall just shook his head and gave a low dude.

Artemis, who was also still on the floor with Robin, spoke up, “isn’t Catwoman a bad guy? Why would Batman work with her and how did she manage to chase you out of your own house? Share with the class please, Dorks.”

Wally glanced at Rob, who had peaked one eye through his fingers to glance at him. “Not it!” They shouted as fast as they could, which of course gave Wally a bit of an upper hand. He had found his mouth often moved faster than his legs. Robin groaned yet again. 

“Catwoman is a criminal, but she’s actually nice and kinda cool. She doesn’t hurt people, really and she has her own set of morals. She isn’t like, like the Joker or Two Face. Sometimes she ends up having the same goals as we do, just for different reasons. B works with her for two main reasons. One is that she’s got mad skills, the other is her costume,” he finished vaguely, hoping he wouldn’t need to say more than that. Of course only Artemis, a fellow Gothamite and floor dweller (she had evidently seen no need to get up and had made herself comfortable), understood the implications, and pinked in the cheeks.

The Atlantan and Martian, who both had no idea what Catwoman looked like, had a relatively clean mind, and a large amount of respect for Batman did not understand. The not even a year old clone didn’t either.

“I learned my lesson the first time she came around, and now promptly leave as soon as she shows up. I went to change out of my uniform since it was covered in whatever was in that alley I fell into. Went down the cave so I could Zeta here, and guess what I see? Catwoman, her suit most of the way off, sitting on top of Batman! They were already on the main event and I had to sneak to the tube while they were doing it! I swear the fight and the drive back were all foreplay and they just jumped each other’s bones as soon as I was gone!” Everyone was blushing now, and none of them would ever be able to look Batman in the eye again, not that they ever really could, but it would be for an entirely different reason now.


End file.
